I'm in a Funk! Ya think...

In this case I am going with Etymology #2 as defined by Wictionary.
Noun

funk (countable and uncountable; plural funks)
1.(countable) mental depression
2.(uncountable) A state of fear or panic, especially cowardly

Just haven't felt like doing much. Poor NASA is so tolerant, my kids too. It is starting to pile up around here. This happens every so often. Sometimes more frequently than others. My biggest challenge this time is the chaos of the clothes and laundry. Why does the state of our laundry reflect my moods?

Anywho, I have until April 15th to get the cobwebs out of my motivation and push through. Why April 15th, other than it being tax day (already filed)? It is the day we have some cleaning people coming to Spring clean. I am excited and apprehensive all at the same time. I can't wait to have the place scrubbed floor to ceiling. Not that it hasn't been clean. I say we keep it superficially clean. All the ordinary stuff is washed and scrubbed on a relatively consistent basis, but not the deep clean. We don't wipe off baseboards or get to walls or windows very often, like sometimes never. The thing is that I have to get the laundry under control to really get the upstairs to benefit from this Spring cleaning.

At least upstairs isn't as bad as it was before.

What it looked like one year ago in 2012.

Darn, I should have taken after pictures. It did look better for 11 months. Especially since the boxes are gone. Now that I look at the actual pictures again from last year. It isn't as different as I would like it to be this year. Those darn clothes are back to haunt me. Right now there are 3 hampers full of clothes, 2 laundry baskets and a dryer full of clean clothes. The washer has a load of towels in it waiting to dry. Obviously they will need washed again. Then there are 2 storage containers of summer and winter clothes. This time of year where we have to transition from winter to summer clothes does not help at all. Clearly this time of year is a real stumbling block for me when it comes to laundry. How interesting that my Hoarders post was almost exactly 1 year ago, uncanny.

Of course my laundry issue is just a symptom. I have a long list of things I haven't done. My blogs are so neglected. Well, the funk lifted last year and I got back on track, so here is looking forward to the funk ending soon! YEAH! Last year the funk ended with a big huge kerplunk. I got so ambitious I started a new blog, RU Ready to Craft, a new facebook page, started Pinterest and got more connected on Twitter. This year when it lifts I will be sure to just pick up where I left off instead of starting anything new. Well, actually I am working on a new homeschool project, but that is different, right. Anywho, off to read or do something other than what I need to do. 

© 2013 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

My Regrets Are Not Few

If you ever asked me, "What are you thinking?" and I answered, "nothing", I was lying. I am always thinking about something. I know it is why I have a hard time falling asleep. When my oldest daughter, Hey, told me at age 4 that she couldn't shut off her brain, I sympathized. I know exactly how that feels. However, I couldn't relate to what the heck would keep her brain buzzing late into the night. What does a 3 year old think about that can keep them awake?

I guess that is the price one pays for having a busy analytical mind. Many times I think we struggle in our relationship because we are very much alike. I suspect that like me, she reviews her day, thinks about how she could have done things differently and what the next day could hold.

My 7 1/2 years old Hey.

We both are stubborn and willful.  My mother says I was a better behaved little girl, but I think that was from fear of my father. My children don't have that threat in their minds. Other than her explosiveness, I see many of Hey's behavior and think that is how I felt when I was young. I remember the hate I felt for my parents. If left unchecked, I know Hey would become as much of a procrastinator and perfectionist as I am today. One motto we have now in our home: "Only God is perfect." That motto has served my children well.

There are so many things to think about. I spend way to much time second guessing the things that I say or do. I purposely try and stay away from anything that I did before my marriage. The choices I made as a teenager were reckless and stupid. It is a wonder I am alive today, not even considering my congenital heart defect. I say, "Thank you God I got married when I was 23 years old." Otherwise my list of regrets might have been longer. Many times I wish there weren't other people involved in those experiences or character building events. I created way to much drama in my teen years.

I think it all started in 7th grade when I cleaned out a friends locker since she was out sick. I knew the combination to her locker and was going to be able to get her things to her. I found a notebook of correspondence between her and another friend. They had written to each other as if it were a diary. 1st mistake, I read it. 2nd mistake, I talked about it with, who I thought, was a trusted friend in our social circle. The trusted friend turned out to be a social piranha. She used the incident to create my demise in the social community of 7th grade. I was no longer part of the in crowd. In fact, nasty gossip started being spread about me. What was ironic was that the owner of the locker had forgiven me and was over it.

My poor choices only got worse as I started 8th grade and all my friends had changed. I was an honor roll student every quarter in 7th grade since it was a point of competition in my old social circle. In 8th grade I didn't care. My new group of friends didn't care either. We spent most of our time figuring out how to party like our older high school siblings.

Myself, 22 years old, with NASA before marriage.

I do know that my parents were smart in taking me out of that public school system and sending me to a private high school. I had to start over with new school friends and that made a big difference.

So why does this matter now? Well, I am the mother of two beautiful girls. As I said, my oldest, Hey, reminds me of myself in some ways. I realize she is only 7 1/2 years old, but all our interactions and her learning are cumulative. She is only 5 years away from when my world radically changed and my poor choices had residual effects. I don't want my daughters to have the emotional baggage I brought into my marriage.

I wonder, is there anything my Mom could have done to help? Is there some experience or conversation that would have helped me make better choices starting at the age of 13? What ground work do I need to do now that will keep my daughter from making poor choices? I spend a great deal of time examining my role in her life as her mother. I know I am over critical of my parenting, but I can't help it.  I have started to tell her how much I think about how I am her mother and what I could do better. I tell her when I am wrong or have made a mistake.

Wow, after reading this several times to edit it I realize what I need to change. It is to much about me! I need to change my focus. It needs to be all about God. I have to show my daughter how the Lord directs my life now. 

I believe I was on the path to where I am today. I just think that between the ages of 13 to 22, I took a huge detour. I believe if my faith was firmly grounded in God's Word much younger many of my regrets would not have occurred. Once I did start listening to the Lord He did miracles in my life. He has healed me in many ways, not just physically.

I can only hope that my talking to her and being honest will allow her to trust God and what He would have for her. As a family we talk about our values and faith. I pray that with all of that and sharing God's Word, once she is an adult, she will have few regrets.

Writing this was very helpful. The best thing I can do is continue to keep God in the center of my life. I now know that will be the best thing I can do for her and her sister.

"And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. ⁶ And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. ⁷ Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7


© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Will We Stay Or Will We Go?

Over the last few weeks I haven’t written. I am at a loss as to where to start, what direction to take my writing or attempt to sum up my emotions. There is so much going on, but yet nothing seems to be going anywhere.

There was a job here in Tucson for my husband, NASA, that seemed perfect. It seemed to line up with his analytical strengths and enjoyment of teaching. We both thought it would be the answer to prayer. He had two written contingent job offers if that specific company received the contract. A few days ago he found out that a company he was not connected to won the contract. The perfect job disappeared. We had put the job out there as a test to whether we should keep trying to stay in Arizona, or move on.

Then NASA got a call from the company who won the contract. They wanted to talk to him. They sent him an application to fill out. It looked like the job may come through after all.  Alas, it was not to be. The original candidate changed his mind and decided to take less money to stay in the job. This back and forth did not help our spirits.



My Hero, retired Captain NASA

NASA has been seeking employment since January. As of March 1^st he was officially retired from the U.S. Air Force. He has diligently applied to everything he is remotely qualified. He even tried the $12/hour manual labor route, got an interview, but can’t get hired because he is overqualified. He spent 20 years as one of the best weather forecasters protecting billions of dollars in military assets. He brought Google Earth to the weather field and taught them how to exploit its integration into forecasts. However, there isn’t much call for a meteorologist who doesn’t have math courses like calculus or higher as a part of his BS degree in Professional Aeronautics. A meteorologist who doesn’t know computer programming and doesn’t have the confidence or coordination to work in front of a green screen on television is limited too. The 2 weather technician jobs he applied for and interviewed for paid less than what the cost of living in the area would require, like San Diego.

We aren’t quite sure what to do. We have a rental home in Vegas that will be empty in November. Our housing costs would be $425/month less to live there and wait on the Lord.  

So, I just ask for your prayers that somehow our path will be made clear and God will open the door wide for us to step through and continue to be obedient to Him. Thanks.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.

There are many great articles to encourage us in our waiting, these two are favorites.

Waiting on the Lord. A study by J. Hampton Keathley, III

This one was sent to me by a friend, so I knew I needed it. The Faithfulness of God by Chuck Smith.

I drafted this post yesterday. Today I am posting it and wanted to share that we now have an answer. We are staying. The only thing that changed was our perspective. God works in interesting ways. I will explain another day.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

School Really Is In Full Swing

I have more time to myself these days, but yet I don't seem to get anymore done. Well, some more, but not what I would like. I may just have high expectations.

Days are all structured around the school schedule. I thought bedtime was a pain in the neck in the past, well it hasn't gotten any better. Mornings are now in close competition to bedtime. No matter how early I wake them up, we are always rushing around at the end. We discuss lunch, pick out clothes the night before and backpacks are ready to go. What more could we do? I am considering putting them to bed in their clothes for the next day.

Have you started your school routine yet? Arizona goes back to school early so it is an odd time of year. I always associated school starting after Labor Day. It is still summer, but school has started here. I am finding it hard to reconcile.

Then there is my writer and craft block. All this time seems to have created a total lack of creative thought on my part. I don't even have copy cat in me. I'm hoping it will pass. We have a birthday, Myrrh's, coming so I best get out of my funk soon. I will try to be better at keeping you posted.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Busy Trying to Bond

We have less than two weeks before Hey starts school. Wow, the summer flew by. She was out of school for 7 weeks. Somedays it seemed to drag on, others flew by. I am trying to learn to spend more focused positive attention with her, but it isn't easy. I don't have much in common with Hey. She likes details about things, the science, how things work and the why of everything. I could care less about things and the science of it. I only want to know about it, find its worth, buy it for less and own it. As long as it works I don't care why or how.

Other than crafts there are not many things we do together. We can watch tv together, but I don't think that counts. We are not comfortable cuddling on the couch for more than 2 minutes. She is restless, fidgets constantly and digs her bones into my flesh. I like to read to her, but she gets bored with that quickly. She is the same with games. I don't know what to do or how to relate to this child other than crafts?



Doing a fun dollar store craft together.

Hey loves physical activity like biking, running around, and anything that involves movement. That isn't my strength. Being outside is not comfortable for me. I can't stand being outside in the hot sun more than 10 minutes at a time. Between my skin and my allergies, I just consider myself allergic to being outside. I endure going to the park with my children purely for their sake and sanity in our home. However, the park is out anytime it is windy or over 95 degrees, so that is about 6 months out of the year. Thank goodness NASA is an outdoorsman!

Hey sees how much easier it is for Myrrh and I to spend time together. It is effortless. We can cuddle, play in Myrrh's imaginary world of animals, go shopping without buying anything, read a ton of books, and just talk. Well, Myrrh does most of the talking, I try and keep up with listening. Hey is smart she sees the difference in our relationships. She translates that to my loving her less. It breaks my heart to know she doesn't feel loved sometimes. How do parents handle it between siblings with different personalities? I only have two different children. I can't imagine, 3 or more.

I am afraid that school won't help us relate more either. Praying that somehow I can find ways to let Hey know that I value her, she is loved and worth receiving my positive attention.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Can't Go Out and Play

I just spent the time my children were in Vacation Bible School (VBS) cleaning out their rooms of any remnants of toys. They didn’t have much since they only would clean up the ones they wanted to keep. It was enough to keep them happy and busy.

Bedroom before the clean out.

Well, now those are all gone too. That is what happens if you choose to leave your socks, shoes and toys in my living room and talk back with disrespect. After you have gone to bed, things will disappear. This had been going on for years since my husband and I did a parenting class in Love and Logic. 

The way I like my living room to look before bedtime.

Lately, my oldest daughter, Hey, has decided there is nothing she can lose that will make her decide to clean anything up. When we would get to this point in the past she would miss out on the opportunity to go to a birthday party, swimming, shopping , movie, a craft, video games, or go to a friend’s house. After a time or two of missing out on those things, she would improve for weeks. I’m not a real stickler about their rooms being clean either. I do require that there be a path to get to their bed so we can read to them, sing and pray together at bedtime. I request that the toys be picked up if they don’t want them to get stepped on. If they choose not to then they take the risk of it being broken. It seems her and her sister needed a reminder about the living room being a clean zone before bedtime.

Right now the girls are going to VBS and having Hey stay home was not a choice I was willing to offer. She is only gone from 8:30 AM to noon, so that is just enough time for me to recharge for the test rest of the day.

Bedroom after the clean out.

Let’s see if the missing toys will help the children get better attitudes. Myrrh still has a few stuffed animals. Hey does have her pillow pets. All their books and educational items are left. I am wondering if just having those items will still give them a respect for making better choices. They will still have access to the craft room. We shall see how it plays out. I am confident it will work for Myrrh since all of her horses are gone. Myrrh will be asking right away what she can do to earn things back. Hey cares much less about things.

I guess if it comes down to it, if Hey can’t pull it together, then I can suck it up and stay home with her a day doing nothing. So for now, Hey cannot go out and play. Maybe the next day though.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Things I Wish I’d Known Before…

I really would like to know that products are being discontinued before I run out of them. This has been a long running issue in my life. I get set on something that works well and makes my life easier, then BAM it is off the market. I remember the first time it happened, it was very traumatic. The lipstick, it didn’t dry my lips out, make them peel or wear off to fast. Next it was my favorite bra. I did find another bra and when it was discontinued I was able to go online and buy a dozen in two different sizes, but that was 10 years ago. I did the same thing when my favorite underwear disappeared from the stores. I am down to my last few and they are getting worn out. I have others, but they just are not as good or worthy of future purchasing.

Look the pillowcase matches the shower curtain below.

There have been shower curtains, rugs and sheet sets that wear out before the coordinating soap dish, toothbrush holder, bedspread and curtains. Thank goodness that went out of style.

Evidence of the 90's bathroom decor and my daughter caught in the act of playing with my favorite foundation primer.

My dermatologist got me hooked on recommendations and now I have to change, same thing with my hairdresser. There were facial cleansers, moisturizers, shampoos, conditioners, mousse, sculpting gel, foundation and primer too, just gone. Once I find a product I am not allergic to and works great, I become a loyal consumer. It doesn’t matter if they are economy products or luxury brands, everything at some point is reformulated or discontinued. If I had unlimited resources, well if it didn’t expire too, I would buy a warehouse full of the things I love. Shhhh, I have been known to use products beyond the listed expiration date.

It is the same with some television shows I watched the first season or more, and it gets canceled. If I had known there wouldn’t be closure or a tidy ending I never would have started watching it. It is okay to take shows off the air if the show ties up loose ends. Otherwise conclusion episodes for cancelled shows should be mandatory and written into the contract with the network.

Change happens in life, but some changes just seem ridiculous and create way to much unnecessary work for adapting.



© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

The Least Smooth Move Ever!

Since we are in the military, normally the packing and physical move are the lesser concerns. You set dates and the military contracts and pays a local mover to do and/or coordinate your move. In the past it has been relatively easy. The moving company comes in and estimates how long it will take to pack your household goods. They tell you what day they will start packing and the day the truck will take your items away to your destination. In previous moves, at least 8 that I can name off the top of my head, the schedules were met and we have had relatively event free moves. They have been fairly smooth on the part of the moving companies, even those that where cross country.

Our packers were due to start Monday, December 5. It was estimated that it would be a 1 day to pack. Maybe a few hours on the second day depending on how many packers they were using on the first day. The truck was scheduled to pick up our items Wednesday in Vegas and deliver in Tucson on the following Monday. I should have known we were in trouble when the two packers didn't show up Monday until 11 AM with lots of excuses. I learned more than I wanted to know about the moving business.

The company who was hired by the military to do our move, Apex, subcontracted out the job to another company, Southern Nevada Movers, who doesn't want the liability of employees moving people's items, so they subcontracted the job out to an individual contractor. That individual did not have the extra resources to buy the materials needed to do the job. The check Southern Nevada Movers wrote to pay him for previous work couldn't be cashed. He could only cash the check at Southern Nevada Movers bank. I guess Southern Nevada Movers has a very poor reputation in town because they bounce checks, even payroll checks. So the individual contractor had to wait for their bank to open before he could buy packing materials like boxes, tape and paper. Once he had the cash, he then had to go buy all the materials himself and that is why it took him until 11 AM to arrive. He then discovered that Southern Nevada Movers underestimated how much weight and boxes we were needing for moving, so he ran out of materials around 3 PM. He had come with an assistant, someone he was paying to help him pack our belongings. The two of them had only packed about 1/3 of our items in those 4 hours.

I feel bad for the individual contractor that due to the economy he has to accept less than ideal terms and horrible treatment from a company. What happened was that the military awarded the job to the lowest bidder, based on the maximum weight we are allowed to move based on my husband's rank, Captain. Apex won the contract hypothetically for $8,000 they then turn around and awarded the job to Southern Nevada Movers for say $5,000 and then they turn around and tell the individual contractor they will pay him $3,000 to do it. However, out of that money he has to pay for all the materials, truck, gas, weight station costs and anyone he needs to help him meet the schedule Apex has set up for the contract with the military. All of this he has agreed to before seeing the house, the items of how much weight it will actually be and the conditions. Then he has to deal with a company that doesn't pay and customers that are unhappy.

Our packing wasn't done until Wednesday. The truck came Friday in Vegas to take our items to Tucson. Our truck full of household items didn't arrive at our home in Tucson until 12:30 PM Tuesday, December 13. It was pouring down rain all day and night Tuesday. It was a mess. Since we have retired, I am so glad this is our last military move. I hope we don't have to move again anytime soon.