We moved to Tucson and if it was a successful move or not still remains to be seen. My husband was officially retired from the Air Force, March 29, 2012.
It isn't exactly the move I envisioned. We have only connected with very few previous friends. It seems most of my previous friends are only through Facebook. I guess being gone for 3 years you find who are your real friends. The painful part of it all is that although their children all go to school, the Moms hang out for Mom Night Outs and I have not been asked to be a part of that group or been invited. I'm going to stick with the idea that it is because I homeschool, so they must think I have become a weirdo or something. I don't want to think it is because there IS something wrong with me, nope denial is more comfortable.
We live in the best school district in Arizona, literally. I think that maybe why the homeschool community here isn't as strong as it was in Vegas. There are few extracurricular activities that take place during the traditional school day. There isn't a $6/per class gymnastics here. There is no ice skating at all since the only rink here went out of business. In the last 3 months there has only been 1 field trip opportunity. The elementary co-op class we attend (K-3rd grade) is very traditional in it's structure with 20 children and 1 official parent in charge. The parent (bless her heart) has no background in education other than being a homeschool teacher. The parents are supposed to remain on site to help and oversee their child's behavior. With 20 children, there is rarely more than 2 other parents there, myself included.
For the homeschool group we belong to there is a P.E. class most Fridays at a local park. Again, it is very traditional in that the children are divided by age with my children's class being ages 4 to 6 year olds. It is a real struggle for my oldest daughter who is the size of a 9 year old (CDC growth chart). The parents do stay and wait, most sit in groups. If you are new, you have no idea where to sit and the groups make no attempt to reach out and welcome new members. It doesn't help that most sit in a circle with camp chairs and blankets. I didn't bring or even own a camp chair and can not sit on the ground for more than 10 minutes. I attempted to break into one of the groups, but after an initial self introduction, stood there feeling very excluded. However, when my husband attended in my place, they went out of their way to invite him to sit in a group even giving him a chair! Considering my husband is a wallflower in brand new social situations, I took this news very hard. I realize my husband is very good looking, but really, did I act like an alien?
We attended one playground gathering. We arrived and I surveyed the groups of women standing together and chatting. No one must have recognized me from the 4 previous P.E. classes I had attended. Eventually I found an opportunity to walk over and introduce myself, but then found myself listening to conversations that I was not included in. After standing awhile I went and sat down by myself. Then the other Moms must have finally gotten tired of standing and sat with me. It was the only bench with seats in proximity to the play set.
I watched my girls play together most of the time. Finally my oldest was playing with the older girls there, 8 years and older, but as soon as they found out how old she was, they excluded her. Then I listened to two Moms talk about the drama going on between two of the nine year olds that were 'best' friends. The one was jealous that she was playing with other children. Then they gossiped about another Mom who was not there. This is supposed to be a Christian homeschool group. Eventually my children found a very nice girl to play with and they seemed to get along great. She was 6 years old like my oldest daughter. All three of them played well. When it came time to leave, I discovered that one nice little girl wasn't even part of our homeschool group. Sigh, so even the children are so used to each other being friends that they find it hard to include new ones.
I am thinking we need to involve ourselves in a homeschool group that is either very new or less traditional.
On the bright side, one of the main reasons for returning to Tucson is working out. Both my children were adopted from the Arizona Foster Care system and have some abilities that are unique to their biological history and trauma. The girls are back in Physical Therapy with Mary O'Connell to work with their motor skills challenges and sensory integration. My oldest and I are in weekly therapy together to work on our attachment to each other. My youngest has an appointment with a Developmental Pediatrician at the end of this month. The oldest will see her again next month. I'm going to see if the Developmental Pediatrician recommends we continue with music therapy, the only decent service we were able to find in Vegas.
We are working with a HUD counselor to see about getting our payment reduced on our 6.125% interest rate mortgage on a house that is worth at least $40k less than what we owe on the house.
The medical care here is better since I can be referred off base to civilian specialist. Although, there are syringomelia, until I have another MRI to see if it is growing. Despite the monthly insurance premium and co-pays we are not used to, it is nice to know we have access to much better care.
Oh, we love our family (an uncle and a cousin) here and church too. So all in all everything is okay and I'm sure it will get even better over time. I just have come to realize it is almost like moving to a new place all over again. Now, my next order of business is to find a good babysitter. We miss Hannah in Vegas.
Tuesday, March 6
Monday, January 16
Where Oh Where Have My Items Gone...
...where oh where can they be?
It has been one month since we arrived in Tucson. We are moved in about 75%. There are still boxes that we haven't unpacked, some we haven't gotten to and others we have decided we don't need right now. Of course there are the items I would like to have that we can't find. How do you loose something in a move? Well, the packers pack the boxes and mark them with what the major contents are and what room they are from. Unfortunately what the packer decides is the major contents and what I would think are major are two different things. We are still looking for a box containing our bedroom lamps. We have the shades, but no lamps. There is no box labeled lamps. The only unopened boxes for our room are labeled shoes and books. We opened the large shoe box and only see shoes. I didn't intend to open the book boxes because we usually do those last. Plus, if we move soon I see no reason to create more work by unloading and then packing the books up again.
Whenever we move we watch the packers and carry our own Sharpies around adding our own lists and/or comments about the contents. Since this move wasn't organized and at one point had 4 people packing our contents, there was lots of room for gaps in the information listed on the boxes. I'm still trying to figure out where the heck the rugs are for my bathroom. Tile floors are chilly and I could really use them at this time of year. All the boxes labeled bathroom and linens have been opened. So where are they? It is any ones guess. Maybe labeled 'garage' since we still have several of those not opened. It could be labeled 'kids toys' since that would make sense. Children can turn rugs or lamps into toys, right.
Well, what is important is that we are at functioning level now. We aren't living out of suitcases anymore and I don't feel like I am living in a hotel. We spent this weekend cleaning the downstairs so at least if someone comes over I won't be totally humiliated. Upstairs is still a cluttered mess with some boxes. I won't even mention the garage.
Both of us are still searching for a new career position. Whoever can get hired first is the winner. I am supposed to figure out how long we can keep our house while we are both unemployed, but I haven't done it yet. I would like to stay in denial about our impending financial decline. With the look of our garage we maybe thinking we will loose the house sooner rather than later. My husband is hoarding empty boxes and paper. I don't look in the garage very often. I would like to think that my denial is actually optimism.
It has been one month since we arrived in Tucson. We are moved in about 75%. There are still boxes that we haven't unpacked, some we haven't gotten to and others we have decided we don't need right now. Of course there are the items I would like to have that we can't find. How do you loose something in a move? Well, the packers pack the boxes and mark them with what the major contents are and what room they are from. Unfortunately what the packer decides is the major contents and what I would think are major are two different things. We are still looking for a box containing our bedroom lamps. We have the shades, but no lamps. There is no box labeled lamps. The only unopened boxes for our room are labeled shoes and books. We opened the large shoe box and only see shoes. I didn't intend to open the book boxes because we usually do those last. Plus, if we move soon I see no reason to create more work by unloading and then packing the books up again.
Whenever we move we watch the packers and carry our own Sharpies around adding our own lists and/or comments about the contents. Since this move wasn't organized and at one point had 4 people packing our contents, there was lots of room for gaps in the information listed on the boxes. I'm still trying to figure out where the heck the rugs are for my bathroom. Tile floors are chilly and I could really use them at this time of year. All the boxes labeled bathroom and linens have been opened. So where are they? It is any ones guess. Maybe labeled 'garage' since we still have several of those not opened. It could be labeled 'kids toys' since that would make sense. Children can turn rugs or lamps into toys, right.
Well, what is important is that we are at functioning level now. We aren't living out of suitcases anymore and I don't feel like I am living in a hotel. We spent this weekend cleaning the downstairs so at least if someone comes over I won't be totally humiliated. Upstairs is still a cluttered mess with some boxes. I won't even mention the garage.
Both of us are still searching for a new career position. Whoever can get hired first is the winner. I am supposed to figure out how long we can keep our house while we are both unemployed, but I haven't done it yet. I would like to stay in denial about our impending financial decline. With the look of our garage we maybe thinking we will loose the house sooner rather than later. My husband is hoarding empty boxes and paper. I don't look in the garage very often. I would like to think that my denial is actually optimism.
Wednesday, December 21
The Least Smooth Move Ever!
Since we are in the military, normally the packing and physical move are the lesser concerns. You set dates and the military contracts and pays a local mover to do and/or coordinate your move. In the past it has been relatively easy. The moving company comes in and estimates how long it will take to pack your household goods. They tell you what day they will start packing and the day the truck will take your items away to your destination. In previous moves, at least 8 that I can name off the top of my head, the schedules were met and we have had relatively event free moves. They have been fairly smooth on the part of the moving companies, even those that where cross country.
Our packers were due to start Monday, December 5. It was estimated that it would be a 1 day to pack. Maybe a few hours on the second day depending on how many packers they were using on the first day. The truck was scheduled to pick up our items Wednesday in Vegas and deliver in Tucson on the following Monday. I should have known we were in trouble when the two packers didn't show up Monday until 11 AM with lots of excuses. I learned more than I wanted to know about the moving business.
The company who was hired by the military to do our move, Apex, subcontracted out the job to another company, Southern Nevada Movers, who doesn't want the liability of employees moving people's items, so they subcontracted the job out to an individual contractor. That individual did not have the extra resources to buy the materials needed to do the job. The check Southern Nevada Movers wrote to pay him for previous work couldn't be cashed. He could only cash the check at Southern Nevada Movers bank. I guess Southern Nevada Movers has a very poor reputation in town because they bounce checks, even payroll checks. So the individual contractor had to wait for their bank to open before he could buy packing materials like boxes, tape and paper. Once he had the cash, he then had to go buy all the materials himself and that is why it took him until 11 AM to arrive. He then discovered that Southern Nevada Movers underestimated how much weight and boxes we were needing for moving, so he ran out of materials around 3 PM. He had come with an assistant, someone he was paying to help him pack our belongings. The two of them had only packed about 1/3 of our items in those 4 hours.
I feel bad for the individual contractor that due to the economy he has to accept less than ideal terms and horrible treatment from a company. What happened was that the military awarded the job to the lowest bidder, based on the maximum weight we are allowed to move based on my husband's rank, Captain. Apex won the contract hypothetically for $8,000 they then turn around and awarded the job to Southern Nevada Movers for say $5,000 and then they turn around and tell the individual contractor they will pay him $3,000 to do it. However, out of that money he has to pay for all the materials, truck, gas, weight station costs and anyone he needs to help him meet the schedule Apex has set up for the contract with the military. All of this he has agreed to before seeing the house, the items of how much weight it will actually be and the conditions. Then he has to deal with a company that doesn't pay and customers that are unhappy.
Our packing wasn't done until Wednesday. The truck came Friday in Vegas to take our items to Tucson. Our truck full of household items didn't arrive at our home in Tucson until 12:30 PM Tuesday, December 13. It was pouring down rain all day and night Tuesday. It was a mess. Since we have retired, I am so glad this is our last military move. I hope we don't have to move again anytime soon.
Our packers were due to start Monday, December 5. It was estimated that it would be a 1 day to pack. Maybe a few hours on the second day depending on how many packers they were using on the first day. The truck was scheduled to pick up our items Wednesday in Vegas and deliver in Tucson on the following Monday. I should have known we were in trouble when the two packers didn't show up Monday until 11 AM with lots of excuses. I learned more than I wanted to know about the moving business.
The company who was hired by the military to do our move, Apex, subcontracted out the job to another company, Southern Nevada Movers, who doesn't want the liability of employees moving people's items, so they subcontracted the job out to an individual contractor. That individual did not have the extra resources to buy the materials needed to do the job. The check Southern Nevada Movers wrote to pay him for previous work couldn't be cashed. He could only cash the check at Southern Nevada Movers bank. I guess Southern Nevada Movers has a very poor reputation in town because they bounce checks, even payroll checks. So the individual contractor had to wait for their bank to open before he could buy packing materials like boxes, tape and paper. Once he had the cash, he then had to go buy all the materials himself and that is why it took him until 11 AM to arrive. He then discovered that Southern Nevada Movers underestimated how much weight and boxes we were needing for moving, so he ran out of materials around 3 PM. He had come with an assistant, someone he was paying to help him pack our belongings. The two of them had only packed about 1/3 of our items in those 4 hours.
I feel bad for the individual contractor that due to the economy he has to accept less than ideal terms and horrible treatment from a company. What happened was that the military awarded the job to the lowest bidder, based on the maximum weight we are allowed to move based on my husband's rank, Captain. Apex won the contract hypothetically for $8,000 they then turn around and awarded the job to Southern Nevada Movers for say $5,000 and then they turn around and tell the individual contractor they will pay him $3,000 to do it. However, out of that money he has to pay for all the materials, truck, gas, weight station costs and anyone he needs to help him meet the schedule Apex has set up for the contract with the military. All of this he has agreed to before seeing the house, the items of how much weight it will actually be and the conditions. Then he has to deal with a company that doesn't pay and customers that are unhappy.
Our packing wasn't done until Wednesday. The truck came Friday in Vegas to take our items to Tucson. Our truck full of household items didn't arrive at our home in Tucson until 12:30 PM Tuesday, December 13. It was pouring down rain all day and night Tuesday. It was a mess. Since we have retired, I am so glad this is our last military move. I hope we don't have to move again anytime soon.
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